Ok, I'm ranting now!

Ok. I am sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Enough already! The last couple of days have been extremely difficult as I saw my dad on the weekend. I feel restless, sore, jittery, anxious and just plain ol' crappy. I am exhausted by being hypervigilant. I am so exhausted, but I can't seem to get a good continuous amount of sleep. My eating patterns are wacky. The dogs are good but I just feel annoyed by them. AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHH! I feel like I just can't do anymore, but I have a busy week ahead. Appointments every day and hubby is working all weekend. I know I have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and just keep on keeping on, but it is hard. Can I get off now? I don't like the ride anymore :(

Woohoo! I PAINTED!

Yes indeedie, I did it. Got out those acrylics and put brush/knife to canvas. AND I LOVED IT!!! See what I did....

A lovely November day

Today has been a good day. It was very warm for November (like 15C!) and nice and sunny too. Dear hubby took today and tomorrow off work, which was a nice surprise. We went for tea, and we both had different types of chai. Hubby had a green chai and I had a sweet chai with vanilla flavouring. Mmmmmm!

The past few days have been much better due to a very good counseling session on Tuesday, and another supportive intake interview with Trauma Stress Service (TSS) yesterday. Things are starting to look up as it is starting to sink in that I *really* qualify for TSS. Knowing I will have coordinated specialized services for my needs has taken a big load off my brain, and I think hubby's too. I feel almost giddy and happy, kinda : ).

Since I have been starting to feel a bit better, I dug out my acrylics and my canvases. I am a little scared to paint. I think it is because it is something I have always wanted to do, and now I have the opportunity. Some people dive right in to new projects; I have always been a bit hesitant; maybe it is because I am afraid "to be wrong" or "to do a mistake". "Making a mistake" means I would "be wasteful" of my supplies. I know we all learn by making mistakes, but the fear of not being perfect is a big one for me. That fear has always held me back; almost to a point of being frozen and unable to do anything creative. I tried to slowly work into painting by reading a few books I have on creativity and acrylics. My poor brain still is not functioning well; I could hardly concentrate. I hope tonight I will just set things my easel up and *do it*. I have an idea for a painting; we'll see what happens.

Wish me luck and a good creative flow!

New arty-stuff

I have been dealing with quite a lot lately, but, finally, I did some artistic-type stuff!
I have been playing with watercolour pencils (draw on with a special pencil, wet with a brush), and these are some of my test pieces. So far, I like working with them on a small scale; they can dry quickly (like any watercolour can).
This is a larger piece, about 9x12. It is watercolour pencil, ink, and regular coloured pencils. I got stuck quite a few time as to "what do I do next?", but eventually the ideas came and I went with them. Don't ask me what it is or try to explain it; it defies explanation I think! :D

Good News about the puppies!

We had to take the dogs to the vet today to a) get checked for fleas, b) have some of Shadow's lumps get checked out and c) have the dogs get lots of treats from the vet tech Nicole. Shadow has flea dirt only (ok), Roxy had no fleas (yay). Two of Shadow's lumps are "lipomas" (fatty benign tumours) (yay!!) and one lump in his ear we have to keep an eye on (not so bad). Both of the pups got lots of treats, as always. I am so happy that Shadow's tumours are really nothing to be worried about. Finally, some good news!

Otherwise, today has been a day of sleep and rest. And nothing else. Even the dogs were good and napped while I did. I still get overwhelmed and exhausted with the smallest exertion, so I have done the bare minimum to get through the day. And I don't feel guilty AT ALL!!!! :D