Just trucking along and scalloped potatoes

Life is pretty much status quo around here. Hubby is off work right now, and it is lovely to have him home.

On Sunday, I made a kind of "Easter" meal. It is funny because neither hubby nor I are Christian. However we were both brought up in Christian environments and I somehow feel like I still want to celebrate the holidays. I made a little ham and the most delicious scalloped potatoes and had broccoli too. I made some crock-pot rice pudding which was ok. I thought I would write down the recipe for the potatoes so I could remember it...

Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes

1/4 c butter
1 small onion, diced
1/4 c flour
2 c milk
1/2 - 1 t. salt
pepper to taste
8 oz shredded sharp cheddar (or so)
4-6 medium potatoes, slice 1/4 inch thick, unpeeled

Preheat over to 375F.
In a non-stick saute pan, melt butter over medium-low heat. Saute onion in butter until softened but not browned, about 3-4 min. Add flour to the pan, and saute gently for about 2-3 min. Add milk, salt and pepper to pan, and bring to a low simmer over medium high heat. Cook until thickened, about 3-4 min. Turn heat to very low and add cheese, allowing cheese to gently melt.

Layer half the potatoes in a greased, shallow rectangular casserole. Pour half the cheese sauce over the potatoes. Layer the remaining potatoes and pour remaining sauce over top. Cover potatoes and bake about 45 min. Remove cover and bake another 30 min, or until potatoes are soft and top is browned. Let rest for a few minutes before serving.

Weary

I am just so weary.

Weary of snow, and grey days, and mud.
Weary of my daily routine.
Weary of struggling every day and feeling like I am not progressing.
Weary of negative thinking.

Just plain weary.

I WANT TO GO ON VACATION!!!

But since I can't right now, I'll have to settle on a review of our past vacations. In no particular order....

This first set of pics is from our last real vacation. We love the Blue Ridge mountains, and have been a couple of times. This was when we went in 2006. The redbud were in bloom...





These next pics were from a trip to the Dominican Republic in 2001. We were there over September 11! Even though it seemed the rest of the world was in turmoil, we were in paradise...





These last pics are from Las Vegas in 2004; our tenth wedding anniversary. We stayed at the Luxor Hotel, ate wonderful food, and did not win a penny. But it was a great time!





I am so grateful that we have had the opportunity to go on such great holidays. Hopefully we will again!

Just a little creativity

I felt like doing some creative stuff yesterday. I was not up to doing a large piece, so I just did some little ones:

This is a bracelet that I added the beads to. My mil gave me the bracelet, and I wired up some coordinating beads and attached them to the links. Pretty!



The next is a little piece of art. It is bigger than an ACEO, but not by much. Watercolours, fabric, thread, beads.



I am planning to do some more stuff today, but unsure of just what yet.

Light and fluffy

While some parts of this continent were basking in 80F weather this weekend, we got hit with the same snowstorm that hit Ohio. (Yup, it is March in the arctic tundra.) We got at least 8" of snow, and the wind was blowing hard. Of course, we got invited out to one of hubby's coworker's house for dinner that night (it never fails, something always tries to get in the way of fun). It is a good thing our little car does great in the snow, and we got there with no problems. I was a little nervous, but I had met Vic and his wife Chris before, so once I got over the "zomg they will judge me!!!!" thoughts, I had a good evening. Chris made a lovely dinner, and I brought homemade cookies and a fine time was had by all.

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This is my second attempt at caramels.



Still not as soft as I would like, but they are getting better. I am going to wait a little bit before trying *again*.

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I was watching t.v., and a Volvo commercial came on. I liked the music, so of course I Googled it. Here is the video of the ad:




Melpo Mene is the artist and the link goes to his Myspace page. His music is kind of cool!

Rage

The following may be triggering for some viewers. Viewer discretion is advised.

This post is also pretty meandering and stream of consciousness. May not make sense to anyone but me.

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Lately, when I am alone, I have been having overwhelming feelings of rage. I cannot call my feelings simply anger; it is more wild and uncontrolled than that. It is difficult to understand or even to experience. There is connected to the rage a feeling of unfairness (is that a word? it is now!); a sense of "why aren't things better already". Although I have come a fair distance in the last couple of years, I get so disheartened at the distance yet to go.

I get filled with rage at all sorts of things. That life is not fair. That my hubby is not at home with me when he is at work (yeah, that makes no sense, I know). That I am lonely but I don't know how to make friends. That I have "no self control" therefore I am fat. That my life (and my existence) is shrinking in size.

When I am alone, I get so stuck in my head and I can't get out. Feelings are overwhelming and I have no idea how to live through them or express them. Everything starts to grate on my nerves: like the dogs whining or snow getting in my boots. I try to use the techniques I have learned in my therapy, but the techniques are still so new that I am trying to figure out what works and what doesn't in which situation.

Yet when my hubby comes home, I don't feel the rage. The rage just melts. I have something and someone else to focus on. I get out of my head and into the real world of human interaction.

I don't know where this train of thought and emotion will head in the future. For now this is a start.