The past year has been the most unusual one of my life. I certainly was at rock bottom this time last year. I was barely functioning, anxious, depressed, and in full-blown PTSD mode. This time last year, I was eating sausages and bologne sandwiches as that was all I had the energy to do. I could barely get out of the house without having major anxiety attacks. I was shaking and having vivid visual flashblacks regularly. I couldn't cope and I couldn't take care of myself. Thankfully, my family and my friends were there for me.
Although I am not completely better, I *am* much better. I can cook! Chili and grilled chicken and potato salad and homemade hamburgers and corn bread and white bread. I am crafting/being creative! I am 1 1/2 skeins away from finishing my very first crocheted blanket. I have sewn shorts and dolls. I have made earrings and a bracelet. I have painted and coloured and drawn. My puppies are getting attention again! I (can) clean! I have had guests stay at my house! I can get out of the house and do the stuff I need to without anxiety!
My PTSD is still affecting my life. I am more often than not in pain because I am having "body memory/flashbacks". Some days are harder than others. I get overwhelmed and exhausted easily. I have to take care of myself everyday. I take medications that make me very sleepy. My poor hubby has to put up with my whining when he himself is sore. I do hard work in therapy.
When all is said and done, I can't believe that I actually made it through the last year, with most of my marbles still intact (kind of). I know the future is going to be a long haul, but I can do it. (I know, enough of the cliches already!) I actually think the future could be fun. Here's hopin'!
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