Sunflowers

So we bought some sunflowers at the grocery store on the weekend. One of them started to wilt, so I cut the stem and put it in a smaller vase on my windowsill. The others are in a larger vase in our living room. The sunflower on the windowsill was catching the sunlight so beautifully, I had to take some pics. The sunflower contrasting with our old windowsill also looked interesting. Here are a few pics:










































































I quite like these pics, and I have a few more, so maybe I will print some out and do something creative with them. Maybe do that transfer I've been wanting to try?

Bunny

'Nuff said!

My life goes on, and on

I just feel down. I sooo want to be creative, but the juices just ain't a-flowin'. My 12th anniversary is coming up and I don't know what to do or get for my hubby. I just don't seem to have much energy to do anything. The most I have done all week was on Friday; I actually cooked a meal! We had roasted pork tenderloin, roasted potatoes and carrots and an orange choc. chip cake for dessert. I was out for the count after that, but dinner was soooo goooood. It was nice to have a home cooked meal that tasted good, ya know? I'm tired of been tired, I am tired of being anxious and I am tired of twitching (although that is getting better). I just want to feel myself; normal I guess. I seem to also have a lot of muscle pain with one of the meds, so that doesn't help either. I feel I am spinning my wheels, and I just don't have the energy to spin them anymore. I think I will try and rest more this week and see if that helps. I do try and do *something* creative every day, even if it is just a little doodle or something. I want to feel like I am getting somewhere. Ah well, as Scarlett says: "Tomorrow is another day". I guess I just have to try again tomorrow.

Yay! New stuff! Interactive too!

I got my camera working again after a small technical glitch. Yay! I have also been playing with my art supplies; mostly my coloured pencils.

This first piece is fairly large; probably 9"X12". (OK, this is big for me) It flowed very easily; there was absolutely no planning involved. I just started colouring. I feel it captured a very whimsical feeling, which I always like. I call this "Wit and Whimsy". Recently, my cousin Donna and I had been chatting about whimsy, and this also was inspired by that conversation.

I then wanted to try the same style of artwork, but in an ATC size. Please note the pic should be rotated 90 degrees counterclockwise, so just tilt your head to the right and you will see it how I meant it to be seen (ah ha! the interactive part!) Notice the judicial use of gold glitter glue to accentuate the small knobs. I just like it : ).

I hope you like them too. I find then soothing and relaxing and kind of happy. Enjoy!

It's been a while...

So. Ya. Umm. Well. I know; it's been a few days since I have blogged. I will now hang my head down in shame. There. That's done.

The weather continues to be dreary and rainy here. I just haven't had much energy to do much of anything. The one day I did have some energy, I used it to clean up the house some. Some things just have to get done. I had also noticed that I hadn't been journaling in my paper journal either. Uh oh. Not a good sign when Anne doesn't want to do anything. I guess my depression is coming back. *Sigh* Anxiety is a little better, I guess. Boy, don't I sound enthusiastic!

Now sounds as good a time as any to show some of my previous art work.
These are a couple of ATCs that I did for an "ATC-a-long" on a crafting website. They both deal with the subject of "chance". The one on the left has all different quotes dealing with the word chance, and the second one I randomly let chance decide what I was going to do. Kinda neat if I do say so myself. I really enjoy working in the small format of an ATC; it is not so forbidding as a huge canvas/piece of paper and it doesn't take loads of concentration, just a bit.

I hope to post some newer art soon; wish me luck!

A Glittery Day

So, today has been a better day. Yesterday, FINALLY, I got some money in from EI. Now, I still have more paperwork for the doc to fill out, so hopefully I will get a few more weeks of money. It is just nice to be able to pay my bills and have a little left over for me. So what did I do? Buy supplies of course! But these are special; they're cool! I got the 64 pack of crayons (with the crayon sharpener), and I got glitter glue. Just opening the box of crayons took me right back to childhood; the smell is just so distinctive. So today, I played!

This is "my art" that I created with my cool crayons and glitter glue. I picked out the colours I thought were pretty, made some simple shapes, and put three (!) kinds of glue on as accents: silver, fuschia and iridescent (which is a bit hard to see). I had a lot of fun; I had a smile on my face the whole time. Yay me!



This pic shows my WIP and the progress I have made. We're in the home stretch, that's for sure. What will I do with it when I'm done? Who knows, but it will have been a good exercise in patience. It is fun and fulfilling too.






And just as a total aside, here is my dinner. A bologne, cream cheese and mustard sandwich on sunflower/flax bread and golden kiwis (X2). Yum! Doesn't it make ya hungry?

When the Muse speaks, you take dictation

Very rarely, a poetic Muse shouts in my ear. Now, I am NOT a poet. I couldn't even give any kind of critique of a poem. The last time I studied poety was in high school, a million years ago. I couldn't even tell a good poem from a bad poem. But sometime, when that Muse is speaking to you, you sigh, you grab a pen and some paper and you take dictation. And here we go...

------------------------

Life Situation

The reeds surround me.

I have been
Pushed
To the reeds
By the
Unexpected,
Rushing,
Dam-bursting
Overflow
Of the River of Life.

I am lost
Here
In the reeds;
They have disoriented me
From the way
Back to the River.

Tall plumes cover
The motion of the Sun
And the stalks are
A maze of prison bars.

I wade
Unceasingly;
Neither
Crossing over to dry Land
Nor
Finding my way back
To the River's flow.

I cannot
Make the green reeds sing;
No soft melody
To soothe me.

Does anyone hear me
Or
Do the reeds shush my voice?
Can anyone see me
Or
Do the reeds disguise me?

Am I lost forever?

The Reeds
Are now
Home.

----------------------------

So whaddya think? Good? Awful?
Which ever it is, I acknowledege/blame the Muse : )

Coloured circles

Well, things continue to be very quiet here at the art studio. I have been continuing to play with my coloured pencils (and when I mean play, I mean doing stuff as simple as colouring circles. No. Really. Circles+colour=my art). I've been feeling kinda spacy and down lately, so the creative juices just ain't flowin'. I am still doing at least something art-related everyday; even if it is just colouring circles. I just don't have the energy and am so sleepy that actually visualizing a completed piece in my head is hard work. So, when I feel better I will do more. But right now, less is more and I'm going to go with that.

No-Labour Labour Day + WIP Update

Ah Labour Day. The unofficial last long weekend of summer. I certainly have had a no-Labour Labour Day for sure. Lazy more like it. Snoozing, relaxing. Not even barbecuing! Just eating whatever is around, like leftover fried chicken, muffins, cupcakes etc.
In fact, I am so lazy, I haven't even taken a pic of the work I have done on my "Flowery Adult Language" project. So you'll have to trust me when I say that the C, K, and Y are done. Only two more letters and then it is finished.
So "Happy Labour Day" to you and yours. Relax and enjoy!

Mmm, tea!

What a lovely fall day. Bright sun, big fluffy white (and, ok, grey too) clouds, a refreshing breeze. It is nice to get back out in the backyard to blog; I know these fine days will end soon and I want to enjoy them while I can.
As has become our tradition on the weekend (usually Sundays), Scubaru and I went out for tea at The Tea Haus. It is so nice and relaxing there. It is a nice little store in our local market; they expanded in the last year to include a few chairs and tea service. They do not have take out tea, so you must sit and drink their tea there. They have about 200 different kinds of tea: black, green, white, oolong, rooibos, mate, honeybush, herbal, and varieties of the above kind which are flavoured. Lots of choice, to say the least. Each time we go, we each usually try a different tea. My hubby is keeping a database on the computer: the tea, who tried it and our comments. I'm sure it will be fun to look back and see all the types we have tried! It is an hour or so well enjoyed and relaxing.
I am much more a tea drinker than a coffee drinker. I have to drink my coffee "double, double" (in TimHorton-ese that is 2 cream, 2 sugar) just to make it enjoyable. But tea, ah! There is a drink to soothe my stress. Sometimes, when tea is brewed just right with a little milk and sugar, it has an "aaaaahhhh" factor. I literally go "aaaaahhhhh" and my shoulders relax and for an instant all is good and right in the world. In my family when I grew up, herbal tea was the thing, but even that was rare. We seemed to drink mostly diet pop (usually diet coke), and kool-aid and homemade lemonade in the summer. But it seems that recently, I simply have been wanting and enjoying tea of all kinds more and more. Here at home, we have: Tetley regular, Tetley decaf, earl gray, earl grey decaf, earl grey vanilla, a flavoured rooibos, and a flavoured sri lankan (all in bags). The nice lady at The Tea Haus, Beata, gave us two samples of tea to try: russian earl grey (with other flavours like lemongrass) and chocolate truffle rooibos (!). I have two tea balls, so we should be good. I can hardly wait to try them!
All in all, today was not bad. I mean, how bad can it be when you drink an organic Darjeeling!

A Rainy Saturday

Today is one of those rainy Saturdays that comes along every once in a while. You know the kind: drizzly, kind of cool, dark and dreary. It is the kind of day where naps are the priority and the drink of the day is a warm, cozy cup of tea. Everyone is just resting; the pups have been sleeping most of the day, as well as the humans. It seems that my creative juices are also resting; I played with my new coloured pencils a bit this morning, but I haven't done anything else more creative than making tuna sandwiches for dinner. I think my creative part needs to rest and rejuvenate too; I have been creating at least something every day for the last 3 weeks. I think I just need a little break. I have been playing a video game (FFXI for those interested) all day. It is repetitive (the way I play it anyway) and a bit routine, but it is nice to know that if I do "x", I know "y" will happen, or rarely "z". I know what is expected and things play out the way they should (unless I do something I know I shouldn't and then "die"). It seems like in my real life, that is just not the case. I am doing "x+y+z" and expecting "q" to happen, but it seems like only "k" is happening. I guess what I am trying to say (kind of poorly) is that in real life I am trying my best to get better by doing everything I should, and I am just not getting the results. It is a bummer for sure. Now I know, "Life" rarely happens the way you expect it to, but I just want a bit of a break and feel better already! I keep hoping that maybe tomorrow will be better, but sometime it is just hard to hope. Oh well, for right now there is not much else I can do but go with the flow, drink my tea, and go kill some Goblins to make Vana'diel safe again.

Quiet

It's been relatively quiet here at the art studio. The most exciting thing that has happened was that my loving husband bought me some beautiful Koh-I-Noor woodless coloured pencils. Thanks Hon! We even got them for 40% off! Yay us! I've been playing with them just on a small scale. They are nice and smooth to use, and have a substantial feeling to them. So different from the Laurentian pencil crayons I used during public school. I feel like quite the "artiste" and who knows what masterpieces I will soon be creating. Three cheers for new art supplies! Yipee, yipee, yipee!

An armadillo, an orangutan and the Dalai Lama

So, during my wanderings through the internet, I found a website on How to draw a radish! Since my drawing abilities are marginal at best, I decided to look at some of the free drawing lessons. They were easy! And fun! Ok, so my radishes need a bit of work. But this was a lot more fun than a drawing class I took a few years ago (please don't ask me to draw the skull of a dead animal again, please? ok?) It is a nice little site, and the lessons are shown line by line. So easy even I could do them! So what are you waiting for? Get a pen/pencil and some paper and soon you will be drawing the Dalai Lama too!


My first page of lessons. I drew a second and a third page too. I can't remember the last time I had such child-like fun. Note the armadillo front and centre. There is also a chameleon in the bottom left corner, some birds, a daffodil (yikes! not my best), an eskimo and other things too. Wheee!




An orangutan. I am quite proud of this little guy. My brain kept saying "no! arms don't go to the floor! don't do it!" but I didn't listen and I drew arms just like the lesson, right to the floor. I think he is pretty cute and that I did a reasonably good job of him.





Yes. The Dalai Lama. I am sure I am building up some kind of karma for this. However, I think it is a pretty close likeness, although his lips are a bit full. I DREW THE DALAI LAMA!!!!!!







Sometimes you just need to play!

Flow

So, these are a couple of pics of a new piece I just finished. It is not very big (notice the Canadian quarter). It is a mixed media piece called "Flow". It is pen, dry pastel, embroidery thread and matte glass beads, all on 140 lb. cold press watercolour paper. At first, I didn't care for it, but I then added the thread and beads and now I quite like it. Unfortunately, I think it looks like a bookmark (not that there is anything wrong with bookmarks!). The pastels are also not quite so muted in real life. I learned some things with this piece: a couple of minutes play here and there can add up to a finished piece of art!
I wish this was a better pic!













Close up, of course!

Inner voices

You might as well know, due to some (mental) reasons, I am off work right now. Personally, I feel mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, and being sick is being sick, whether it is a broken arm, Crohn's disease, MS, or depression with anxiety. (I do know the aforementioned illnesses are not all the same, but I think you get what I mean.) Being sick is no fun, and trying to get better is hard work. Often I am frustrated, angry, tired, and just fed up and feel like get-me-back-to-work-already. This little virtual art studio gives me something to look forward to; a place where I can say: "Hey, I still have value! There are some things I can still do!"
I often have endless hours looming in front of me and I feel like a prisoner with a life sentence. Some days, those hours are filled with mindless pursuits (video games, eating and sleep) because I *just can't* do anything more; it's all just too much. Some days are not as dreadful; I feel a bit better and am able to look at the world around me and interact with it. The best days are the (very few) ones that I feel almost normal, and can do almost normal things without wigging out or spacing out. No matter what, those hours are still there, waiting and needing to be filled.
With all those hours, I have had a LOT of time to think. Sometimes I let my mind drift and truly look at the world around me. Sometimes I just sit and day-dream about art I would like to create (and, boy, do I have a list!). Sometimes, though, when I am feeling a little energetic and restless, I listen to my inner voices. You know the ones, the ones that say "Let's eat cookies for dinner!" or "Don't forget dish detergent at the grocery store tomorrow." or "Whatever you are drawing, it certainly doesn't look like a bird." or "Maybe a protein drink is a better choice than cookies". They are all our voice, just different aspects of our needs and desires. I'm sure Freud would have something to say about my voices.
I have been sifting through the voices, listening to what they say, and trying to follow the most reasonable or healthy one. Now, I don't always succeed in following through, but I think just recognizing and acknowledging all of them is a big accomplishment for me. I get often stuck just listening to one voice, the one that always says: "You should. You shouldn't. You can't. You're crazy. Your art sucks and no one will ever like it. You are just wasting your art supplies. You'll never get better. Good girls do. Good girls don't." ad infinitum. But lately, I've been trying to listen to some of the other ones. Sometimes, the one that normally says: "I want cookies for dinner." says: "I want to play with colour! Let's go play!" And I do! And I have fun! And the pain is gone for a little while! Neat! Sometimes the voice that says: "You should do this or that" will say: "Yup, I know you are tired. Just a little more and you will have a completed piece of art. Go for the burn!" And I do! And I finish it and feel a sense of pride and accomplishment!
There are other voices too, faint and hard to hear, which are trying to tell me their stories. I am trying to listen. Maybe all I am going through is a great gift: the gift of having the time to learn about myself.

Why Not?

So, yesterday, I was sitting in my Garden of Weeden, just relaxing after finishing the last couple of posts. I was letting my mind drift and my gaze wander, when I saw my neighbour's Rose of Sharon in bloom. The blooms were ethereal; purplish pink and glowing in the overcast light. I thought to myself: "Geez, you really should take some pics of those beautiful flowers!", but feeling relaxed and comfortable, I responded to that thought with a "Nah, maybe I'll just sit and surf". So I did, and found this Imagination Prompt Generator in my wanderings. I was fooling around with it when the prompt was "Why not?". I thought "Why not? Why not? Maybe I should get off my butt and take those pics! Why not? The flowers may not be there tomorrow." So that's what I did, and here are the results:

This was the flower that inspired me, with its iridescence.










This is me playing with the flash. Notice the bug in the flower gathering pollen!










I figured I might as well take some pics of my elephant-ear hostas. Cool texture.










More interesting texture of the hostas.







So, "why not" indeed! There are always reasons to put off things, so why not just get up and do 'em? You never know what you may discover.

Work In Progress: Flowery Adult Language

Of course, most of my art* has a story or explanation behind it. Artists want to express themselves, and I am no different. You see, for a long time, I was very two-dimensional. I wouldn't raise my voice, I wouldn't cause trouble; I was "a good girl". I still am, in a lot of ways, but I am working hard to be *me*, not what *I should be*. (And yes, I am in therapy ; ) ). "Ladies" don't swear or curse, so I didn't. As my very dearest friend, Miz S, used to describe me: "You wouldn't say shit if you had a mouthful" and she was true.

I have been dealing with a lot of anger lately, and need to express it and get it out. There are days I want to scream "Fuck You!" to the world, and I figured I could channel some of that energy into creating something.
Well, here it is. Essentially, I drew the words "Fuck You" in print, and am slowly filling each upright with vines of flowers and leaves; showing what I want to say (the words) but in my own special way (the vines). Nothing earth shattering; no proper botanical reproductions here. But it is therapeutic and thought-provoking for me.


As I meditatively fill in each letter, I think about the words, and the times I could have used them, or drawn on the underlying energy fueling the anger. I can only work on this for about 20-30 minutes at a time before another part of me gets bored and wants to do something else. So I listen to that part (so I don't end up dreading working on this), and go do something else.

So keep watching; I will try to keep updating my progress on a regular basis. Also be on the lookout; each letter will also have an animal or bug on it too, just to keep things light!

*(N.B. the word "art" will now cover anything I create, whether that is art, crafts or baking cookies. It's all artistic, so, for me it's art!)

My creative stuff

Since this *is* an art studio, I thought I might actually start displaying some of my art/crafts that I have made. (Hmm. I know. What a concept!) Some things I post will be recent and others will be things I may have made in the past, but I guarantee they are all created by me.

This little guy is the first "stuffie" I ever made one my shiny, beautiful sewing machine I got for Christmas from Scubaru. I sure learned a lot from this little guy; mostly technical stuff due to me being pretty much a beginner sewer. I really experimented with him: I played with decorative stitches (face), stitch length (sewing edges), and sewing different materials (felt, fleece). No, he is not perfect, but he came out close to how I imagined; therefore I think I succeeded. He sometimes gets funny comments about his legs (they are uneven and *supposed* to be like that), but I like that he is unusual.

I generally like art or crafts to be unusual or emotion-provoking (hate or love, I don't care), so you may see some unusual stuff being displayed around the studio. Don't worry, most of them don't bite ; ).

Art Studio Inhabitants

So, I think I need to introduce the mascots of Anne's Art Studio. They are my faithful companions, and easiest critics. They love me and the work I do, especially when I make them homemade peanut butter!

So these are my dogs: Shadow on the left and Roxy on the right. Shadow is a purebred reverse brindle boxer and Roxy is a fox terrier cross. Shadow is 7 and Roxy is 10. They both are wonderful. See how nicely they sat for me to take this pic? Granted, they do look like American Gothic, minus the pitchfork. So I guess we could call it Canadian Dog Gothic Without Pitchfork.

Can you imagine waking up to this tongue every morning? Shadow is definitely a "licking" kind of dog. I have gotten used to being mildly soggy all the time. He believes life revolves around him, and ends up pushing poor Roxy around, but he has a good heart and loves being around us. A.k.a. "The Ogre", "Mom's Boy", "Whiner", "Bud".

This pic really shows Roxy's personality. She is a sweet dog, willing to please, and very easy going. You tell her to "go lay down" and she goes and lays down. She is actually our house alarm, because as soon as a blade of grass moves anywhere on our property, she barks. She very rarely gets into trouble, but when she does, it usually involves food of some kind. She is a very gentle lady. A.k.a. "Roxy Girl", "Sweetie", "Mom's Girl".

Besides my pups, there is also my husband, Scubaru. He is my biggest supporter and encourager. We have been a couple for many years now, and we still love each other. Ain't love grand?

Well, those are the lives I live with. They are always there for me no matter what. I'm sure you will also get to meet the other important people in my life sooner or later.

Birds in flight

Today is one of those bright-overcast days where the light seems to never change and comes from every direction. I was just feeling blue and irritated and anxious. I felt I just couldn't deal with the day at all, so I headed out into my backyard to sit, relax and commune with Mother Nature's cousin, Garden of Weeden. My poor backyard is mostly weeds, with some plants and bushes, but I figure, as long as it is green and growing, that is fine by me.

So I was sitting, relaxing, staring up at the sky, when I noticed that there seemed to be an awful lot of birds twittering. I also noticed one particular twitter I had never heard before. I looked around, and there was a vibrant yellow bird, with a black head and wings and an orange beak pecking at the neighbour's purple coneflowers. I just sat in amazement at a bird I had never seen around here before. I know, I 'm sure it has some official name, but I am not a bird watcher, just a bird enjoyer. I thought maybe it was an escapee finch from someone's house. I drifted to noticing other the other birds too. I saw regular brown finches (cheep cheep), grackles (black with white spots, crawk crawk), male and female cardinals, a small bird with its neck the colour of light dried blood, a bird with its chest and neck a light burnt orange. I also heard a crow or two (caw caw) and saw the inevitable squirrels (chatter chatter). It seems like there was a buffet of grubs going on in the next door neighbour's yard, because there was probably 50-100 birds hanging out, twittering and having a grand ol' time. Soon, I saw that there were more of the yellow birds around. I now figured they must be some wild bird that me in my busy day-to-day existence never noticed. Occasionally, a bird would wander into my backyard and peck, bob, bend, twist and stretch to eat the seeds from my tall weeds in the side garden. Sometimes, one bird would give an alarm squawk and all the birds would rise from the ground and sit on my fence and my weeds. When a silent "all clear" was given, the birds would drift back down to the grass and peck away, chatter and be together. Too soon, the buffet was closed for the day and the birds flew away.

For just a few moments, I belonged to a life other than my own. I felt I had a view of a secret life; a life I had once dreamed of and coveted, even though I could not describe it. It was like seeing into a house with a library with beautiful wood panelling, and even though you liked it, you knew in your real life it wouldn't be practical or enjoyable. There were split seconds of being transported back to my teen years when any dream was possible and your home could be anything you could imagine it to be. I felt I "belonged" in the birds' world. Far too soon, the sun decided to come out, and I drifted back to my reality. The birds had taken me on a flight of fancy, and gently reminded me of lives being lived outside my own narrow existence.